I want to start this post with a question. Have you or do you know someone who has had a miscarriage or still birth? I do. According to medical daily’s November post by Susan Scutti, “Ten to 25 percent of all recognized pregnancies end in miscarriage, and up to 70 percent of first-trimester miscarriages are caused by chromosomal anomalies.” A couple of the ladies that I work with have recently had a miscarriage and a still birth. I feel truly heart broken for them since I heard the news of each. As a mom I understand the emended amount of love you feel for that tiny amazing life you are carrying, and I come to tears just thinking those beautiful ladies had to experience the loss of that life. I pray for them to find strength in God, and be at peace knowing heaven is everyone’s end goal and their miracles were chosen by God to never experience pain or suffering, heartache or loss, and they will forever be loved and remembered. Now that my husband and I are wanting to add one more little one to our family I am worried about how it will affect those ladies. Is that ridiculous to think? I know that they are in pain and I don’t want to make that any worse than it already is and has been for them. I know when I do become pregnant they will feel happy for me and never tell me I hurt them. I’m not sure the best way to handle a situation based solely on feelings (never have I done well with emotions). What are some ways you have handled this kind of situation?
Usually I end with a quote of my own, today I end with a Bible verse.
The Lord is close to the broken hearted and saves those that are crushed in spirit. Psalms 34:18
I want to start this by saying I attend church service every Saturday (I might miss a few here or there, I am not perfect). The church my family attends is a nondenominational Christian church named Christ Church of the Valley ( CCV). This Saturday that just past our service was entitled You Ask? People write questions and our pastors attempt to answer them through scripture. This weeks topic was “why does God allow people to suffer?” One instance used was starving children. There is currently enough food produced in the world for every person to eat 3,000 calories a day. Unfortunately corrupt governments keep their citizens starving. Another instance was miscarriage or still birth or infant death. They played a video of a couple that’s daughter died at 97 days of life from a heart condition she was diagnosed with in utero. The couple showed amazing strength and grace. One thibig the mother said that stood out to me was “she got to heaven sooner, we are all trying to get there anyway”. Her point of view wasn’t as a victim, but as a servant. She realized God gave her an opportunity to help others that have gone through this terrible loss. I am by no means saying get over it. What I am saying is you can blame yourself , blame others, blame doctors, or blame God, but it is nobodies fault. God promises to take whatever pain you are experiencing and draw something good from it. I pray that everyone who has ever experienced this kind of pain find peace with knowing there is always something good that can come out of any bad situation. CCV video mentioned in post.
Remember no matter what you are going through in life someone is experiencing it also and strength is in numbers.
Yesterday was my husbands birthday and we decided dinner and bowling with no children sounded wonderful! We packed the kids up dropped them off at Grammys house (late of course, cause once you have kids you are Never on time) and headed to dinner. We had received a gift card to PF Changs for his birthday, so that is where we decided to enjoy the beginning of the night. Our food was amazing! Our service wasn’t great (the waitress seemed as though we bothered her by being there) but regardless it was a good time. At the end of dinner he received a dessert with a candle for his birthday, and our check was dropped of with two fortune cookies (a food I don’t mind talking back to me). Contrary to popular belief fortune cookies were created in San Francisco in the early 1900’s by the Japanese, not in China or by the Chinese. Anyway, our fortune cookies of course had little paper remarks inside. If you have read any of my previous posts you will understand why I had a smirk and a giggle for the fortunes we received. Are fortune cookies actually predictions or benign remarks? You be the judge!
Remember God gave us two ears and one mouth, to remind us to listen more and talk less.
Today is the day I get my Mirena removed to try for our third and final child. I am excited, and nervous (I might throw up on the doctor, let’s pray that doesn’t happen). I am so excited I have been contemplating waking my husband up when I get home from work to start the baby making process right away! Then I start thinking about telling my family I am pregnant again and it gives me anxiety! My mom has one child from each “marriage” , and my dad only has me, so let’s just say they aren’t the type of people open to big families (not that 3 is big). My mom kept telling me after my last baby that was plenty, go get fixed. I enjoy my mothers use of words. Fixed, I imagine myself as a wild animal when I hear that, it makes me giggle. It’s not like I have 20 kids and live in a shack and we are starving, by no means are we starving, maybe we could do with a bit less😜. My husband and I do fine, we have a home, and we can afford all of our needs and most wants. I mean we eat out like 4 times a week, clearly we are not starving. By the way I don’t think Taco Bell should count as eating out, you bring it home! So, anyway I want excitement for my pregnancy when it happens and I am worried that isn’t the feed back I will get. Anyone else have family that doesn’t think before they speak and then tries to back pedal there words for a half hour after? I have some experience with that. So, regardless I am excited, my husband is excited and my kids can’t tell Grammy, at least not yet. Hoping for a big surprise for everyone soon.
Remember your life is your creating, make something wonderful.
My husband and I have recently decided to expand our family. I touched on that in the last post. I am so excited to have another baby. I am blessed with fairly easy pregnancy, and very easy delivery so I don’t have any fear. My husband on the other hand is telling me he is excited but I definitely feel a distance from him anytime I bring up anything baby related. We had a long talk last night and we are now both on board with baby number 3! I have heard and read from many soon to be moms out there that their husband or boyfriend is not excited for the baby that’s coming. I honestly think that men and women just experience a pregnancy from different emotional stand points. Ladies I am here to help. Men do not become excited for a baby until they hear the heart beat, watch an ultrasound, feel the kicks, and hold their new baby. Women we are instantly excited from the moment we see the two lines or the words Pregnant. My stance is that this is a necessary emotion from a woman to insure the protection of their offspring. Ladies, trust me, once your man holds his newborn child all the emotions you have felt the whole pregnancy will catch up with him. My favorite picture from my first pregnancy and delivery is the one taken of my husband the first time he held his son (see photo below).
Remember to enjoy the gift of life that is growing within you!
My husband and I have been having a lot of discussion about adding another baby to our family of four. How do you make that decision? Right now if both kids are crying or crazy we can each get one. If there is a third child one of them is on the loose! We have two boys, moms with boys can back me up on this Boys Are Wild! What if we have a third boy? Do you ever see those parents that look like they survived a hurricane and their kids are acting crazy and all the parent is just quiet? Those parents have boys! Really though, I miss having a tiny baby and I am ready for our third, whether it be a boy or a girl (Please be a girl, please be a girl). So we have decided that I will have my birth control removed tomorrow and we are hoping to become pregnant soon.
Remember to live life In the moment, tomorrow is a new adventure!