Palms down

I know in my very first post I shared that I attend church basically every week. My husband and I attended church, and volunteered every week for quite a while then at the end of my last pregnancy we had dwindled down to not volunteering, and then not going. We blamed it on being tired or “burnt out”. We had our daughters first birthday and realized we hadn’t been to church except maybe a hand full of times throughout her first year of life. One Saturday morning our five year old woke up and all he would say is, “I want to go to church today!”. He repeated this phrase at least a dozen times over a five hours spread, and my husband and I decided we needed to go. I text my mom and asked her to save us a seat for service. Since then we have gone every weekend except maybe two for sickness. One thing my main pastor always says is be palms down. If your palms are up you are still grasping onto things. If you are palms down then you are relying solely on God. I have had a whirl wind since meeting my husband to present, and there have been many times where I have seen my life going down, at those moments I go palms down. Obviously what I have been doing on my own isn’t working, and I need God to take control. I think the greatest gift God gave me was my mother. 

I have many blessing in my life, a great family, amazing husband, and the most beautiful kids, and truely remarkable inlaws, but my mom is the greatest gift. She raised me despite a multitude of trails and tribulations. She gave me memories of Disney on ice, Rollero, water parks, camping, and so many more. She has always been there for me, sometimes resulting in a lecture I don’t want, but i need. I post a lot about how my house is messy but my kids and I spend time together. My mom was a super woman our house was always spotless and we did things. I to this day can’t understand her compassion and the level of patience she is able to keep, but i am grateful. When I pray, I pray that God makes me a light onto other leading them to him, and I truly believe that’s my mom. I want to share a very common scripture with a twist my pastor taught my husband and I before we married. 

My mom is patient, my mom is kind. My  mom does not any, my mom does not boast. My mom is not proud. My mom is not rude, my mom is not self seeking, my mom is not easily angered, my mom keeps no record of wrongs. 

1 Corinthians 13:4-6 

The verse continues, but replacing the word love with my mom, it is the truth. Thank you mom, for being you, and thank you for making me be me. Right now I am at a moment in life realizing I need to be palms down, because what I am doing , isn’t working. I will be fine, because I have an amazing role model, and a loving God. 

Do you need to be palms down? 

Palms down

Worried for Others

I want to start this post with a question. Have you or do you know someone who has had a miscarriage or still birth? I do.  According to medical daily’s November post by Susan Scutti, “Ten to 25 percent of all recognized pregnancies end in miscarriage, and up to 70 percent of first-trimester miscarriages are caused by chromosomal anomalies.” A couple of the ladies that I work with have recently had a miscarriage and a still birth. I feel truly heart broken for them since I heard the news of each. As a mom I understand the emended amount of love you feel for that tiny amazing life you are carrying, and I come to tears just thinking those beautiful ladies had to experience the loss of that life. I pray for them to find strength in God, and be at peace knowing heaven is everyone’s end goal and their miracles were chosen by God to never experience pain or suffering, heartache or loss, and they will forever be loved and remembered.  Now that my husband and I are wanting to add one more little one to our family I am worried about how it will affect those ladies. Is that ridiculous to think? I know that they are in pain and I don’t want to make that any worse than it already is and has been for them. I know when I do become pregnant they will feel happy for me and never tell me I hurt them. I’m not sure the best way to handle a situation based solely on feelings (never have I done well with emotions).  What are some ways you have handled this kind of situation?

Usually I end with a quote of my own, today I end with a Bible verse.

The Lord is close to the broken hearted and saves those that are crushed in spirit. Psalms 34:18 

Worried for Others