I want to start this post with a question. Have you or do you know someone who has had a miscarriage or still birth? I do. According to medical daily’s November post by Susan Scutti, “Ten to 25 percent of all recognized pregnancies end in miscarriage, and up to 70 percent of first-trimester miscarriages are caused by chromosomal anomalies.” A couple of the ladies that I work with have recently had a miscarriage and a still birth. I feel truly heart broken for them since I heard the news of each. As a mom I understand the emended amount of love you feel for that tiny amazing life you are carrying, and I come to tears just thinking those beautiful ladies had to experience the loss of that life. I pray for them to find strength in God, and be at peace knowing heaven is everyone’s end goal and their miracles were chosen by God to never experience pain or suffering, heartache or loss, and they will forever be loved and remembered. Now that my husband and I are wanting to add one more little one to our family I am worried about how it will affect those ladies. Is that ridiculous to think? I know that they are in pain and I don’t want to make that any worse than it already is and has been for them. I know when I do become pregnant they will feel happy for me and never tell me I hurt them. I’m not sure the best way to handle a situation based solely on feelings (never have I done well with emotions). What are some ways you have handled this kind of situation?
Usually I end with a quote of my own, today I end with a Bible verse.
The Lord is close to the broken hearted and saves those that are crushed in spirit. Psalms 34:18
arizonamomof3 
I had a late miscarriage at 24 weeks last November. I also had another miscarriage in 2013, that time it was an early one at 6 weeks. I have several posts I could point you to on my blog.
This blog post I wrote around Mother’s Day last year, a year after my first miscarriage: https://katyslifestory.wordpress.com/2014/05/09/a-quick-word-of-advice-this-weekend/
This blog post I wrote a little more than a year after my first miscarriage when I was pregnant the second time: https://katyslifestory.wordpress.com/2014/09/18/an-announcement-of-emotions
I understand the guilt. The best way to announce a pregnancy to someone you know has had a miscarriage of any kind is to do it by email so they can have that knee-jerk response privately and still be able to have a happy for you public response. There may be those who can go to baby showers and be super happy for you, and some who can’t. Don’t take it personally. Give them space to heal. The process is different for everyone, and the best thing you can do is to give them that space and allow them to choose the amount of interaction they have.
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Thank you Katy! I’m not pregnant yet, but this is something that has been weighing on me. I would absolutely understand if they felt uncomfortable going to my baby shower. I will check out your blogs mentioned. Thank you.
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